So Forgetful
by diddlydoobop
Summary: He didn't imagine things would be quite so messy when he first met her. (Nalu drabble, oneshot)


**_It's like fire that bites him back_**

It's not romantic when he first lays eyes on her, he doesn't feel any twinge in his chest or the sensation of melting in his bones. She's blonde and gorgeous, he thinks without qualm. But it's only an observation because anyone would think that way if they first found her as he did. She's kind to him and Happy, he's absorbed in the way she's talking about things he already knows, he just wants to keep her smiling. When she stands, he thinks of protest, he considers options to keep her there, he wonders what the hell is wrong with him. She leaves, and he suddenly understands. She belongs with us, he tells Happy. But he's met with enormous eyes that wonder how he knows such things.

Natsu is right, he knows that already. So when he hears her admit her love for Fairy Tail he sweeps her from the night. He doesn't tell her about the heartbreak, the tears and the warmth of embrace, or the way they hit each other until they can't move anymore. It will be a surprise, he thinks. Happy seems to disagree with him through the way he's watching, but it's not that at all. He just notices a sparkle in Natsu that wasn't there before.

* * *

 _Lucy. Lucy. Lucy._ He's so forgetful, he thinks sadly while she's away from him. He doesn't want her name to erase so easily, so he repeats it until he's dizzy. I made a new friend today, he tells the family she's joining. She's pretty and nice and she wants to be with us. What makes him happiest is how much she loved Fairy Tail before she even knew them, he's annoyed with how long it took to finally know her, and everyone keeps smiling at him like there's something funny. He would glare if he could manage it, but he's too happy right now.

She shows him first, the stamp against her hand that marks her officially as a member, and she's glowing like firelight. He decides then that nothing will ever hurt her while he's around.

* * *

They're opposites but they're friends. He wants her close and she doesn't resist, she thinks he's cute and he feels something that makes him want to be angry. It doesn't register that she needs space, he just knows he wants to be with her all the time; Happy is more than willing to accompany him when he slips through her window and waits for her to get home. She's starts yelling, he dismisses it because he really doesn't want to leave her. Others follow suit like it's funny (why doesn't she just give them keys already) and he's so happy to know that others adore her like he does.

Here, eat, she tells him. Her voice is low, rumbling with anger, but she's not looking at him. And her cheeks are stained with something pink. He thinks she feeds him because he loves to eat, and it makes him want her more.

* * *

He's worried about her more than anyone else, because she's dear to him. Happy is cracking jokes about a romance that isn't there but there's something delightful about the idea. He takes her with him on adventures because he loves to watch her fight. She's using light and keys and sweet questions of assistance and he's never been so fascinated by magic before. He says as much and Happy looks away like he knows something secretive. Maybe it's not the magic that fascinates you, the cat suggests and Natsu is inexplicably furious.

But then she smiles and he thinks of fireworks.

* * *

He would uproot a fucking tree for that girl, Gray says in a voice like thunder. It's so hard to believe, but he literally did it for her. For _her._

* * *

When Lucy hurts, Natsu hurts. He's always been connected like that with the Fairy Tail guild because he loves his family so deeply. There's something different about this particular one. He feels lighter than air when she's around, it's as exciting as any adventure he's ever had and he knows it's unnatural. Well, he thinks it's unnatural. He's only felt this way once about someone and she isn't around anymore. We don't talk about her. It's painful enough to make him wanna break something.

Lissana. Let's discuss her anyway.

* * *

Lucy hears him gasp for her when he's sleeping, and it's a side of him she's never known before. He curls up beside her in her bed, sometimes when she's already fast asleep, and disrupts her through his moans of despair. Happy doesn't stir, it's like he's used to this, but she can't stand it when he's like this. She wishes she was enough to keep him from the nightmares, but perhaps his care for this girl ran too deeply to be ignored by another presence. What she doesn't know is that Natsu had hoped for the same thing, he keeps her around to distract him from someone else. That's so wrong, he's so guilty about the selfishness, but Lucy is so soft...

* * *

Lissana is alive. Nothing disgusts Lucy more than the ache in her chest.

* * *

Did you know about Levy and Gajeel? Lucy is curious today and Natsu spares her a moment to glance at the pair sitting together. In them, he sees himself and Lucy. Because Gajeel makes Levy so mad, but just look at them. Look at how close they sit, their legs are even brushing, and she blushes the same way Lucy does. They're so sweet, Lucy coos and Natsu looks at her, _really_ looks at her. He notices the lines in her face, the length of her eyelashes, the soft skin at her lips. He feels a longing, an aching _need_ for something, he's never wanted to touch someone so much.

Lucy is perplexed that he's staring and he wonders aloud if she's ever had her heart broken. She tells him she does the heartbreaking and it's the first time Natsu realizes how much he wants to kiss her.

* * *

Gray is so pissed about Juvia, and Nastu would have laughed if he wasn't busy watching them. She's so shameless about how utterly obsessed with the ice mage she is, like she wants the whole world to know that he's her everything. Natsu wants to be like that, he wants to tell everyone how precious Lucy is to him, but his tongue turns to sand when he wills the words to exist.

He tries to ask Happy how he admits to his feelings for Carla, but the feline forgets everything at the sound of her name.

* * *

Thoughts of Natsu cause Lucy's eyes to water during the nights where he _doesn't_ climb through her window.

* * *

He's been counting the stars in her luscious golden hair for days, he wants to drink the color from her lips. Natsu imagines a braver version of himself, one that would have touched her everywhere by now. In another life, he's already kissed her skin, dug his fingers into her hips, breathed her name like a mantra. You smell like her all the time, Happy notes one day. It doesn't make a difference to Natsu.

Her heart doesn't sound the same as everyone else's, he says to Erza. She asks him if it's better, and she's smirking behind her cup, and he's too weak to be mad about it. So he just sighs and closes his eyes.

* * *

Lucy, I love you. I want you to love me too.

He says it once she's out of earshot, and the back of her head offers little sympathy.

* * *

She's the earth, the sky, the breath in his lungs. He defends her with his life, he'll fight against anyone that's ever made her cry. He's so passionate about her, all he wants is for her to be happy. In his dreams, he's haunted by the laughter in her eyes; the shadowed bends of her body that make his fingers itch. Sometimes he imagines she loves him too, when she buries her face into his shoulder and breathes him in, when she slides her fingers through his and squeezes until it hurts. He believes he could do it, could offer her the world if it meant he could hold her.

You've broken everything you've ever touched, Gray says. But not Lucy. No, he would be so very gentle with her, he would treat her like she was made of glass, at least he tells himself as much. Subconsciously, he knows how strong she is. That's why he crushes her against him, she won't shatter that easily. So he tells Gray to shut his fucking mouth and punches him harder than he should've.

* * *

Pull your hair back, Natsu likes your face.

* * *

When Igneel dies, it's a sadness she can't save him from. She seems so desperate to heal him, but he won't let her because he knows it'll take every last bit of who she is to pull him back together again. He's never felt her giggle against his mouth, but he knows it would brighten him. She smiles and wonders how he's doing. He thinks he loves her. When he tells her he's fine she glares like he's lied to her. He _knows_ he loves her. When they first met, he had thought she was beautiful. He still does, but it's a different type of beautiful now. It's the type that no one but him will ever see, the type that sets fire to the world he's constructed. She's everything to him, and he wants to let himself shatter in front of her. But he could never break her heart like that.

That's why all he leaves is a note.


End file.
